I can’t look at Pinterest make-up tips or some YouTube make-up channel without noticing so many girls are starting to look like the same drag queen/fake celebrity look alike. I’ll admit, that’s a pretty harsh and maybe too critical opinion, but it is what I’m seeing lately. I understand that for some, it’s just a make up preference or a way to feel more glamorous and beautiful. Maybe you don’t cover yourself in layers every day, but maybe you do. And if you are under those layers, it makes me wonder, what’s under there with you? I can’t help but feel slightly concerned about what this means for these particular women and their self esteem.
Brace yourself for some pretty grim thoughts that no doubt lay hidden behind that stormy looming cloud of aging. Sorry to rip off the band aid this way. But to the point, underneath our worries about aging are often fears of dying. And along the way, we are afraid of deteriorating health. We fear losing our beauty, society’s respect, our dignity, our power. We fear we’ll lose our independence; our self sufficiency. We’re scared we’ll lose our friends as they get older. We’re afraid of leaving our loved ones behind and the pain they may feel from the loss. We’re afraid we’ll be alone and undesirable. And oh man, doesn’t all of that just feel awful. It’s no wonder that so many of us have a fear of getting older!
Phew! Now that we’ve go that all out, let’s take a much needed deep and long breath. And please do use that breath to blow that stormy looming cloud away.
Let’s take a moment now to step back from that fear of getting older and learn how to manage those worries that arise.
Because instead of fearing the future you can decide to be curious about it.
Get Curious About Your Fear
We’ve been getting older since birth. So when did the fear of aging kick in for you?
It seems the fearful shift suddenly happens when we approach our 30’s and tend to worsen once we head into our 60’s. When we’re in our 20’s, many of us have a newfound sense of control or autonomy. It makes getting older exciting. However, the further we move away from those days, it may be that we start to feel that grasp of control weakening as our bodies continued to change. Maybe lines that weren’t so deep before are deep now. Or maybe losing weight is so much harder.
I personally wonder how much of our fear of getting older has to do with losing control and negative perceptions.
You may be wondering what difference does wondering or being curious about getting older makes.
Curiosity makes all the difference!
How Perception Fuels Worry
Curiosity often leads to the quest for understanding. And once you understand what your perceptions are towards aging, the sooner you can begin to shift how you experience growing older.
If you find it difficult to manage a fear of getting older, it’s likely that you perceive aging negatively. Seeing getting older as a bad thing, ultimately leads to negative thoughts. And negative thinking goes hand in hand with worry.
Your negative attitude towards getting older may lead to worries about being able to take care of your self financially. It can lead to a worry about losing fertility, virility, even your value in society. Most of all, aging may trigger worries about dying. And this worry, out of all them, is the most time wasting. Nothing can be changed about that fact. Only your perceptions can be changed.
If it’s possible to imagine how terrible getting older might be, can you wonder now that it must be possible to imagine how wonderful getting older might be?
Change your perception Change your Fears
We can’t control the aging process…yet. But you can at least control how you think of your fear of getting older.
You have every reason to worry about aging, but if you choose to control how you perceive aging, you can find one reason not to worry.
Search yourself for that reason now.
Ask yourself, “What reason do I have to look forward to aging?” “Can life be wonderful in surprising ways as I get older?” “What do I love about who I am now compared to who I was when I was younger?”
If you had trouble finding your one reason to stop worrying about getting older, here are a few of my favorites.
- When you think of getting older, maybe you see losing your strength,your power, your dignity. But look at our world leaders. So many of them are well past their 60’s. Yet, they run our country and have the power to change our nation.
- When you consider dignity, some of our wisest have the most. They’re our elders or our grand parents. Louise Hay, a highly successful author, publisher and spiritual leader was 50 years old when she wrote her first book and enjoyed a healthy lifestyle into her 90’s. Before passing on, she helped heal millions of people around the world.
- Perhaps when you see getting older, you see wrinkles and hospital stays. But if you’re looking for it, you may find that people are getting older and staying healthier. I know people with fantastic glowing soft skin with little to no wrinkles who are in their 7o’s. (Please pass down those good genes mom! Though she’d thank healthy living!)
Allow yourself to be curious. How much does aging have to do with how wonderful you are?
Of course you can still worry if you choose to. But isn’t it nice to know that you can also say to yourself that it may be true that you are aging, but it’s also true that aging isn’t necessarily a guarantee of the worst. Your potential lies within you and ahead of you.
Each day is new and full of potential at any age!
What does your spirit, your inner wisdom, your highest self say about the fact that it does not age?
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