S hould we just “Go with the flow”? It’s printed on the back of my cell phone case with a big happy whale. It’ adorable and inspiring, but is it always the best advice? And who’s flow are we following? I’ve found that the longer we think about these questions the more the flow branches out into the other streams of our lives. It becomes a deeper question that can apply to almost anything.
So how does allowing life to unfold as it does, AKA going with the flow, help when your friendship is falling apart? It can help when you see it as allowing change to happen, rather than seeing it as avoiding creating waves. Often, we want to control the direction of our relationships because it makes us feel safe, but we can’t control our friends. We are all on our own unique paths and there are times when they will diverge.
This is what I was trying to avoid in my friendship, the diverging or growing apart. But this isn’t in our control as much as we’d like to try to encourage it to be.
There are those streams where there is a big rock in the way and the water must seemingly split to wash around it, but it does form together again as one. And then there are those streams that fork off into different pools of water. I think we all want to be as one, like the stream that parts, but returns as one. But when we can’t come back together, maybe then, it is it best to follow our own flow.
If I had followed the flow of my friend, I would not have been true to my own values. I would not have respected that girl time is sacred and I would have allowed a childish man to mock our special bond.
Lasting healthy friendships take a whole lot of love, understanding and accepting that we each have our own needs. And meeting those needs together can be hard when friends don’t always fully appreciate your needs. People sometimes fool themselves into thinking that friendships are just to have fun and we all need to loosen up and not get so heavy. So when real emotions rise up from our subconscious, we wonder why there are problems. Well wonder no more! It’s simply that we always bring ourselves and emotions in every relationship we have. Sometimes it doesn’t show, like when you’re all drooling over the hotness sitting across from your table and gossiping about the latest drama. But we don’t stop being human.
Sometimes there’s nothing more satisfying than a heartfelt head nod saying, ‘I get you and I’ve got you.’ Sometimes what’s right for us, is going against the flow if staying true to our higher selves matters more. And sometimes what’s right for us, is going with the flow of others when support and understanding on both sides is there. And isn’t that nice to know that you can choose to go with the flow or against it in a strong relationship. And for those of us who want a real connection with a good friend, ask your spirit, your highest self, your inner wisdom about your friendship. Mine says, honor yourself even if it means going with your own flow, maybe especially if that’s what it means.
Allow your friendships to emerge and unfold in their own ways, because when you allow who’s not right for you to move on, you also allow who’s right to move in. And isn’t that just what you deserve?!
“All is well, everything is happening for my highest good, out of this situation only good will come, and I am safe.” -Louise Hay