Having a family brings to mind images of gathering together or sharing a history. Maybe you have memories of laughter and special quirks that you honestly think no other family could possibly have in the same way. But most of all, having a family reminds us of bonds that can never be broken. Your sister will always be your sister and your father can never really be replaced.
Sounds great, right…? Well maybe they’re not all dewy moments. Maybe it’s more like you’re stuck with them; forever tied by your history/lack of history and blood ties.
Today, I’m talking about the ties and that knotted up ball of yarn we call family. That ball may be so small that you could probably knit a tiny little square or be so massive that you could knit a 50 foot long scarf. The people who make up our families are tied to one another, but we seldom resemble that perfect cozy neatly wound ball of yarn. Maybe long ago, there was a snag and things began to unravel. Maybe the strings are all in a jumble or maybe you’ve all come together to create a warm cozy scarf.
How is it that family can be the foundation of your life or be the thing that threatens to ruin your life? That may sound a little dramatic. But I’m sure some of you over there are nodding your heads. I can’t help but picture an old family scarf that got a bit snagged and a gaping hole is forming where the strings pull apart.
What are the snags and holes in your family life? How does it make you feel?
As family and normal human beings, we all disagree at some point. We find ourselves wondering, how are you my sibling, my child or my parents? Sometimes it’s one issue, maybe the latest one, that’s dividing us. I’ve found myself in this exact spot recently and oh yeah, I can feel the tension.
The election! It’s created an energy that reverberates throughout families everywhere. As so many points of views were represented in this past election, it was only natural that it would cause division. What the elections made clear to me about family ties and knots is that, just like in politics, there’s high potential for hostility and disagreement when people make a stand for what they believe in.
We may share a history together as a family, maybe we even once shared the same values. But having a familial bond doesn’t guarantee a bonding of our minds.
Unfortunately, this division is so common and sometimes confusing. It’s like stepping out the front door of the family house together and watching your family take paths away from you. You might be thinking,
Believe it or not, it’s all fine. It’s okay to feel a pulling away. It’s okay to feel whatever the division is stirring. We are energetic beings and we pick up on the obvious energy created from family issues. It’s only natural to care about its impact on you.
It’s natural to care about the negative feelings that arise from all the snags. When they’re hurtful to you, hurt. When they can’t see from your perspective, feel frustrated. When they go they’re own way, hope they find a path that leads back to you among all the other paths they choose. Accept how you feel and know that your feelings are valid.
The reason it’s all fine, is that you can give yourself permission to accept your family the way it is and hope you will all heal.
There is no requirement for you to personally fix all the snags and holes that came along. You are only one part of that knotted ball of family yarn; you may not even know what other knots are within, that can “fix” your family. There is no requirement that you must all come together in order to heal. Healing happens individually just as well as when it happens when we are together. Most of all, there is no requirement to walk the same paths that your family walks. You may have created your family or been born into this family, but you do not design the lives of the other members. And that’s okay.
Today give yourself the gift of knowing that although you see your family going on a path you would not choose, YOU need not walk that path. We can only hope to meet up again and share our different stories. The sooner you can lovingly, accept that your family will live and learn on their own paths, the sooner you can let go of the negative feelings you have and live the path that’s right for you.
You are tied together by blood to take your most needed life lessons. I know they are sometimes hard and hurtful lessons, but have faith that you can learn from them. What does your higher self, your inner wisdom, your spirit say about family ties and knots?