First, allow me to be clear. I believe that we all love ourselves deep down, otherwise we’d never have dreams for ourselves, we’d never want better and we’d simply give up on life. It can be pretty insulting to tell someone that they don’t love themselves or even that they don’t love themselves enough. But I think that it’s so important for all human beings to know that you can have more and you deserve more love. Giving that love to ourselves can be so fulfilling, but sometimes we don’t recognize the signs that it’s time to love ourselves more.
Unfortunately, we don’t always realize the lack of self love that we experience when we’re managing our busy schedules, loneliness, and range of struggles.
Life can be chaotic and life can feel lackluster. Both scenarios can be experienced as though you are living in a fog. We spend so much time being aware or sensitive to the world around us, that what is happening within us is unclear. How do you tend to your needs if you can not clearly understand or pinpoint that you even have unmet needs?
Often, when life becomes chaotic it’s easy to pile up all of our negative experiences into one towering stack. It’s like life is made of Jenga blocks that say “past due bills”, “jam packed schedule”, “family drama”, “health/weight issues”, and so on. It’s all just too much! Everything, seemingly, must be handled and it better happen ASAP.
Even the lackluster life creates a fog that you can feel lost within. Life can feel uninspired, lack forward momentum, and just feel like a boring never changing routine. Dullllll.
Both the chaotic and the lackluster life distracts from recognizing that you could use more self love. Who can blame you? When we’re too busy focusing our attention on overwhelming feelings or feeling sorry for ourselves, how can we hear the call from our higher selves, our inner spirits telling us about the importance of self love?
When I write about the inner spirit or our higher selves, I’m pointing you to that part of your self that lives at your core. It is untouched by the negativity that occurs simply from living.
I believe that you were born with a pure spirit within you. I don’t know about you, but every baby I’ve come across, if well nourished, has a bright light within them.
I’m talking about that seed buried underneath the dirt. Your higher spirit is a positive force within. I believe that pure spirit still exists within us. It’s simply that life has piled on top of it. Our personalities, our brains and thoughts, they grow and change. But I personally believe that our spirits are wise and pure and unchanging.
Yet their lights can dim without loving nourishment. It’s this very spirit that goes unheard amidst the chaotic or lackluster energy of your life. It’s that stirring inner spirit that is sending you signs!
There are signs that you may be missing that make it clear that you could use more self love in your life. And once you can begin to notice the signs that more self love is needed in your life, the sooner you can nourish and lighten your inner spirit.
10 Signs That You Could Use More Self Love
Self Loving Responses To These Signs
(Choose the # that corresponds to your sign that you could use more self love and find that # below.)
- Connect with your inner spirit. Strengthen it, listen to it and learn from it. Use my 36 tips for reconnecting with your spirituality. This form of self love will lighten your spirit and shift your outer focus to an inward peaceful place.
- It’s not easy to do the things we know would benefit us when we also think that they’re too difficult to accomplish. It can be quitting smoking, eating healthier, saying no, etc… A simple loving act like forgiving yourself for not making that better choice can go a long way. It’s okay that you haven’t done what’s best…yet. No one is perfect. Another simple step you can take is vividly imagine how positively your life will change when you finally decide to do that hard thing. It only takes two whole minutes of focus.
- Fear is natural and can be useful. But if you’re stuck feeling fearful and hopeless of freeing yourself from it, loving yourself with positivity is a must. So often you create fearful thoughts and frighten yourself. Love yourself enough to give your mind a break and refocus your attention to positive thoughts and activities. Anytime you feel fearful, read something uplifting, go for a walk, listen to music, watch something funny, count your blessings. This form of self love lowers stress.
- One simple step towards loving yourself when you feel worried is to try The Worry Cloud or the Custom Worry cloud. Give yourself a day or an hour without thinking of your worry. When you love yourself enough to let go of your worries for a brief time, you gather the energy and calm you need to figure out how to deal with your worry. The more you practice this, the more you will trust that you can handle almost anything.
- Allowing yourself to feel stuck in a rut or stuck in a boring routine is no way of showing love for your life! A simple step towards self love that can free you from an unfulfilling life, is dreaming. Dream about how much fun you can have. Dream about pushing past your boundaries. Dream about all the new things you could try. And dream about where you want life to take you. It’s a simple first step that can lead to a whole new life.
- Hating the way you look usually involves saying some pretty unloving things to yourself. There are some people who may look just like you, but love the way they look. The difference is what they’re thinking and saying about themselves. The most simple step you can take is to say out loud, “I’m beautiful.” each time you look into the mirror.
- Physically taking care of ourselves is a self loving act. It means that you care about your body, your mind and it’s effect on how much energy you have to handle life. Love yourself by getting bed on time, exercising, moving your body, eating something healthy once a week, feeling clean and finding ways to relax.
- Recreationally using drugs or alcohol to dull pain, elevate your mood, or to distract can seem like the simple solution. Maybe it’s an answer to boredom or pain, but the effect that drugs an alcohol have on your brain, liver and your body in general, proves that it’s an unloving solution. Choose the path that treats your body well and respects that your inner struggle deserves your lucid attention. Please reach out for professional help if necessary. This link may help.
- It’s not always easy to listen when people are afraid for us. It can feel like confrontation and disapproval. Your initial reaction may be to ignore it, to feel sad, or to get angry. However, to love yourself also means seeing how lovable you are! A simple step you can take is to understand that your loved ones see the best in you. They love you and want you to love yourself just as much. Put yourself in their shoes and imagine what it would be like to love you as much as they love you.
- Feeling ready to give up on life might be the biggest sign of all that you aren’t giving yourself love. (There are exceptions.) This feeling can be a side effect of certain medication or it can be something far deeper. If you’re convinced that life is too hard to change for the best, understand that it’s just a thought. We can’t predict or control the future. But you can fill your life will self loving acts and experience joy. That joy or idea that joy can exist for you may help you love yourself enough to want to push forward. Life can turn around in an instant and you can be apart of that in a loving way.
Ask yourself what does your inner spirit, your highest self , your inner wisdom have to say about the state of self love in your life.
Interested in taking action to create more self love? Click here for my
100 Acts of Self Love list. (coming soon)